Hi,

Here's something that will help you get more done faster and be in a better mood at the same time.

I was working with a client last week that was completely stuck.

He had plenty of things he wished he could do.

But he had no motivation.

From my conversations with him, I already knew the answer.

But because of the nature of the answer, I couldn’t tell him what it was.

He had to discover it, to some degree, himself.

So I asked him to take a personality test.

And sure enough, as I expected, he found that he scored extremely low in agreeableness.

People who are low in agreeableness don't like being told what to do or how to think. This is why I knew I couldn't just tell him what to do to fix his motivation. But if he knew that was his tendency, we could create a situation where he could choose a different future. Which feels good.

So I asked him this.

When you come up with an idea about what to do, even if it’s your idea, do you feel like you’ll have to do something you don’t want to, or set up a situation where you won’t be in control?

He said absolutely, that he was afraid that he would be forced to do something he didn’t want to do no matter which direction he took.

This is something we all deal with.

People who are highly disagreeable struggle with this problem more, but all of us want to have some level of control over our lives.

And when we don't feel that control we resist taking action.

As we talked it through, we found out together that he wasn’t lacking motivation.

He chose to do nothing out of fear that he would lose control of his life and live a miserable one, which is super reasonable behavior.

It’s not a healthy or helpful behavior, but it makes complete sense.

So I asked him, if he knew that everything he did was up to him and that he could stop at any time… under those conditions, would he be interested in taking action?

He said absolutely.

So we talked about his life. He already was in complete control, of course, because when you have that concern, you make sure you are free. He had power over his schedule and activities. He wasn’t employed nor did he owe anyone.

We looked everything over realistically and confirmed that any action he took next would be his choice, and he suddenly got excited about what he would do next.

We put a notification in his phone that would alert him three times a day that said one simple thing,

“This is my choice.”

And he came back the next week with an impressive number of accomplishments.

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The word motivation is often a placeholder for a real problem. Or the lack of it is a symptom of an underlying problem.

The answers are nuanced. And there are a lot of them.

But this is a big one worth remembering.

You need to feel that you have some control over your life.

You need to feel that you have a degree of choice.

The amount needed is different for everyone.

There’s such a thing as too much choice; some people are overwhelmed and ruined by too much control and choice.

But everyone needs it in some amount.

We need to know that we are in charge of our life, either through one choice that is ours, or many.

Even if you choose to get a job and have a boss that’s super in control of your day-to-day schedule, which for some people, believe it or not, is a recipe for happiness, it’s hell if you don’t know that you chose it.

Take a moment to look at the decisions and potential actions in front of you today.

And take a moment to speak the words in your own mind, “This is my choice.”

And examine how it feels.

If it feels untrue, that may point toward a change that needs to be made. Or it could simply require you to trace back through the decisions of your life to understand that where you are today is, in fact, your choice.

Likely though, it will give you a perspective.

A useful perspective.

Because when something is your choice, it’s also your responsibility.

And you can choose to pick up that responsibility or set it down.

But knowing that it’s up to you will help you decide if you want to pick it up, how you will pick it up, and whether or not it’s time to take a break.

Yes, there are many people still trapped in situations through no fault of their own that are outside their control.

But if you want to become a champion, you must look at as many of your possible options through this lens as you can.

Look at the world around you.

Ask yourself what you choose to do.

And then conquer the part that is right and good for you to conquer.

You will be much more able to accept the trials of the chosen action.

You will make much more intelligent decisions about what you should be doing.

And you will light a fire of motivation in your belly that can’t be put out.

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I just updated the workshop! I’d love to have as many of you involved as possible. I’ve focused this workshop on what matters most, your mindset. If you want to change the world, start with yourself. If you’d like to join the workshop, please click here.

If you’d like to work with me one-on-one, please click here.

Best,

Josh Terry
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